Sephiroth : The Video Game Villain Who Kicked Death In The Balls

Almost everybody in my generation knows who Sephiroth is. He’s one cool badass SOB that we all, at one point, wished we could at least have a quarter of his awesomeness and looks. I mean just look at him… He’s simply… awesome.

Awesome.

For those who don’t know who this guy is, Sephiroth is one of the most popular video game villains in history. He has been voted as part of the top 10 supervillains by various prestigious game magazines and institutions. Sephiroth has become part of pop culture and have had quite a following since his debut in Final Fantasy 7. Since then, he has appeared in other games as well, even outside the Final Fantasy series.

Anyway, enough of boring history. The whole point of this entry is to praise him and spite him at the same time. Silver hair? S&M outfit? Only one guy can pull it off. Sephiroth. And did you see his sword? That’s the legendary Masamune right there. It’s a legendary sword named after the famous Japanese swordsmith, Goro Nyudo Masamune. His blades are considered as Japan’s most pricessless national treasures. So you see, if you die from his sword, it would even be considered an honor. Not everone who gets murdered is killed with a national treasure, save a legendary sword. His motive for being evil is not for power or wealth. None of that world domination hulabaloo other villains aim for. He just wants to destroy the world. Period. Why? Because he hates it. Period. You have to give him 100 villain points for that.

Also, he has badass nickname “One Winged Angel”. Nothing could ever be cooler than that except if you add the words “fucking” and “of doom” in there.

“One Winged Fucking Angel of Doom”

But despite his evil self, he is still idolized by a lot of fans. Heck, even she’s in love with this dude. Hahaha! Geez. If I weren’t so nerd enough about this, I’d probably go nuts and stab myself with a fork. Most non-nerd kids wouldn’t understand. Not even Cloud Strife (the boyband  looking kid protagonist of Final Fantasy 7) who supposedly beat the crap out of Sephiroth is in no way remotely even close to his level of awesomeness. We all thought the last part of FF7 was the end of him. Nope. A few years later, he’s back. So basically he just slapped Death in the face and told it to go make him a sandwich. And this is actually the second time he did this. So yeah, he’s amazing.

But this article is not entirely to praise him. I am a fan, yes, but I also have this deep hatred for the guy.

Remember this?

“Nooooooooooo!”

We all cried buckets of tears when he ended the life of the sweetest girl in video game history. Too cruel. You didn’t have to kill her, Sephiroth. That was sooooo not cool.

Also, I hate him because…

Sephiroth was so much man that he actually defecated Chuck Norris. In the end, all he needed to feel complete was one more hot, brown meal so he could crack an amusing fart while arm wrestling with the gods.

FML.

P.S. You know what they say, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. So I guess I wanna be cool like Sephiroth after all. Minus the S&M costume of course.The silver hair? Err… we’ll work on that. In the meantime, I’m going back to the gym and pump iron. : D